you want answers, i want to feel like myself again

Alyssa hadn't expected to be woken up at 5 am by her centurion and Rowan and then be taken to the field of mars. In all honesty, she thought she was still dreaming. They stood next to a large metal fortress that was being assembled for the next war games. It was rickety and probably couldn't stand anyone climbing it at this point, but it provided cover from the rest of camp. Why her two kidnappers wanted that, she wasn't entirely sure. She trusted Rowan though, and Christian. She just didn't expect to see them together. It hadn't even occurred to her that they knew each other. She mostly knew Rowan during her post-centurion days anyways. Thinking of her having any sort of rank didn't seem to fit.

"I don't want to seem rude but is there a reason that you've pulled me out here?" She asked, "Its cold and you guys didn't give me time to get a jacket." It's true. She was just in a tank top and jeans. She didn't realize that they were going to be standing outside.

This isn't how Rowan expected her morning to be going. First, she tries to leave camp, then she's caught and spills her most well-kept secret to a guy she barely knows, and now he's questioning her friend in the middle of the Field of Mars. Rowan didn't even know what he was going to ask, but she had a feeling he knew he shouldn't push it. After all, she had already almost pulled a dagger on him.

"I told him, Alyssa." Rowan said, her arms crossed and leaning up against the shabby metal barrier that the third cohort was trying to put together. She just hoped she didn't accidentally collapse it. "No details, just... Waterford."

She saw Alyssa tense up in the light of the early morning at the mention of his name. Still, Alyssa said nothing, just nodded her head slowly, seemingly bracing herself for what was going to happen next.

Any sort of groggyness Alyssa had the moment before Nick's name was mention was gone. She was suddenly very aware of the hunk of scrap metal behind her, the dagger strapped to Rowans side, Christian's handcuffs. She felt the energy travel from her chest to her fingertips, like little bolts of electricity gliding under her skin, trying to transfer to the nearest conductor. There was an urge to pull apart the welding the third cohort had done, to send their structure crashing to the ground, to melt the dagger into a puddle of molten gold, to transform the handcuffs into something sharp. Yet she knew that was just her restlessness. She took a breath, forcing the energy to disperse and neutralize. Her hands glowed green for a moment, before going back to normal. She was under control. No flashbacks. That was a success.

She took the jacket, hoping the warmth would help her stay calm. Her eyes drifted over to Rowan, who was looking back at her. She trusted Rowan, even though she was often closed off. Rowan never seemed to tell her anything until it was too late to stop her. This wouldn't be the first time. She vividly remembered Rowan telling her about the plan to confront Nick during the senate meeting two minutes before she walked in. Fifteen minutes later she walked out in handcuffs.

Alyssa knew this would happen. They'd find someone that believed them. Stuff like this always came out in the end. Yet she also knew there was going to be collateral damage. Rowan was a perfect example. But Rowan was angrier than her, which seemed to make her invincible. She didn't have that fire. Christian had some fire too, although it didn't seem to burn the same way as it did for Rowan. It was more desperate, close to a need. A need to make things right, to restore balance.

What she wanted was to feel like herself again. She wanted to enjoy the things she used to like, without feeling numb or frustrated. She didn't want the only sort of fire to come when she lost control. She wasn't sure if that would come with taking Nick down. But she knew that she didn't want it to happen to anyone else.

"What is it that you need?" She asked, "Besides proof, which I don't have."

Rowan raised her eyes at Christians first option. Sure, she had already tried that option, but contrary to popular opinion, she hadn't even planned on stabbing him. She had pulled the dagger, then she was stopped. Still, an attempted stabbing is way more dramatic than pulling a dagger, and the people of New Rome loved gossip.

"You've got guts just saying that." Rowan admitted, "Careful, you might end up like me." She half smiled at that. She didn't know why it was even funny. Part of her expected a dozen police officers to come around the corner any second and arrest them for treason. That would be the second time she would've been arrested. Maybe she was turning into a hardened criminal. Now that would be funny. Her father had never taught her how to start a prison gang, but she could probably figure it out.

When Christian brought him up, her mood turned sour again. "We're not involving my dad." She didn't elaborate, she didn't want to. He was staying out of it and that was that.

Alyssa was silent, however, weighing all the options. Part of her just wanted him to be dead so that she could have peace. But she knew she also needed to clear Rowan's name. Even if it was the easiest option for her. She knew what could happen though if they went public, especially if they weren't careful about it. They would get branded as liars and attention seekers. That's what he had told them. He'd drag them through the mud and he'd stay clean.

"I don't care what we do" She said, "I just want him gone."